Cloud, the aftermath
by ZackxCloud
Summary: Cloud is depressed after defeating Sephiroth and losing his first love, Aerith. Kicks off just after meteor, but before the events of advent children. AU, Leon is very OOC, I do apologize. One shot, potential for further chapters if there is interest. Rated M for bad language and potential future 'naughty' scenes


Hi guys, this is my first fanfiction that I wrote ages ago. I hope you like it and please be nice =] criticism is welcome but I must mention again that this is AU and Leon is very OOC.

Please review, especially if you would like to see more =]

Cheers guys, ZackxCloud.

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'Eugh!'

That was it. I had had it. Tifa was in my bed, again. Everyday I'd wake up and she'd be next to me, asleep. It made no sense! She has her own bed; she knows I'm her friend, that's it. Yet, she never fails to get into my bed every night whether I go to sleep after her or not. I love her, I really do but...

'Tifa, out! Seriously, do you intend to trick me into sleeping with you or something? 'Cause it's really not going to happen!' I yelled.

'S-s-sorry Cloud, it just gets lonely in there... I'm so used to sleeping near to everyone. Barrett, you, Yuffie, Red, Cid, Cait Sith, Vincent... Hell! I even miss sleeping near to Aerith.' Tifa complained.

I decided to leave her to dwell on thoughts and left the room. Whilst closing the door, I heard her start to cry and knew that she wanted me back in there, with her, but I couldn't, not after she talked about my first love in that off-hand way. I didn't know what love was, not until I lost it. No one I've been with since has come close to the feelings I had for her... Aerith; the flower girl; the girl of my dreams. It's my fault she's dead. I knew it wasn't safe but I was selfish and greedy.

I'm not the only monster behind her death, there's one other who felt blood on their hands – Sephiroth, that evil, blood-thirsty monster. I'm glad to say that I'm the one who killed him and he bloody well deserved it! He killed so many, innocent people.

I'm trying to move on, I really am. I know she'd want me to and so would he. He was my best friend, and I let them kill him, I still struggle to remember that day. I think it's because I don't want to remember it. At least they're together again, like they used to be. Zack and Aerith; they suit each other, much more than Aerith and I did. Zack would always but himself in danger just to avoid someone else getting hurt but I... I just allow others to be put in danger because I like their company. I'm such a selfish person!

I've met someone else. Well, kind of. I'm still getting to know her. Her name's Rikku. She's a laugh but I don't think there's a connection between us... Heck, there's more of a connection between Tifa and I. For some reason, women swarm to me. I'm not sure why, I'm trouble and I'm selfish; girls tend to call me a bad boy and mysterious. There's quite a big list of the want to-be girlfriends:

Tifa

Yuffie

Rikku

Yuna

Paine

Selphie

Garnet

Rinoa

Quistis

Leon

Yes, I do realise that the last one is a guy. The weird thing is I kind of want to be with him. I'm not gay though! No sir! Once I cut the list down to the real possibilities though, all that's left is Leon, Yuffie and Tifa.

There are reasons to be with all of them and reasons not to be. Leon's a great guy, but that's the problem... HE'S A GUY! Yuffie's fun to be with and a good laugh, but she steals my materia! Tifa, she was my childhood friend, I thought I loved her, as in not just a friend type love but ever since Aerith died... I just can't see myself being with Tifa.

Tifa, what a normal man would go for. She's mysterious, down to earth, and funny. She's great physically as well. I mean she has a great voice, she can look after herself and, well, she has great breasts. Just one look and most men would fall head over heels for her but not me. I guess I'm just abnormal. I love her but not in the way that I should, I feel like I'm more in love with Yuffie and Leon than I am with her sometimes. I want to be with her but wanting just isn't good enough, I won't be able to let myself be with her unless I need to be with her or maybe if she needs me. I know she thinks she needs me at the moment but she doesn't. She knows that she has lots of people she can turn to, at the press of a button. She just wants me. It's different, it's not love.

'Yo! Cloud! What you doing up there?' Leon called. His voice has this hint of a growl in it; it's quite sexy.

'Erm... Not much, just thinking about stuff,' I hesitated.

'Well, why don't you come fight some monsters with all of us? Y'know, just 'cause ol' Sephiroth's gone, it doesn't mean that all the monsters have,' he laughed.

'Okay, I'll be right down,' I chuckled.

I leapt down off of the roof and landed on my feet. I'm kind of like a cat in that sense. I can jump off of most heights and still land on my feet. When Leon asked me to do something, I just couldn't refuse.

Off we ran, towards the rebuilt sector 7 slums, back towards seventh heaven, Tifa's bar. I stopped when we reached the slums. There were monsters everywhere, climbing on buildings, attacking people, it was a horrid sight.

'Ahhhh!' I heard Tifa and Yuffie screaming, which is odd as they can usually both look after themselves.

I ran into the bar to see a dozen or so monsters pinning each girl down. I knew I would have to help one before the other and this choice could change everything, as it tends to do when choices involve me. I chose to help Tifa. I'm not sure why, it wasn't really a conscious choice, I just ran and unleashed my sword onto the monsters. I had saved her well within 10 seconds and was whooping monster ass to help save Yuffie. My blade made this lovely 'swoosh' noise; I loved my sword.

'Thanks for saving me. I guess I better go help outside,' Tifa panted.

'Thanks Cloud. I think I'm going to battle from afar from now on,' Yuffie beamed.

'You two, wait! I don't want you going back out there; it's not safe.' I put my foot down. Ever since Aerith's death, I've tried to keep people out of danger, whether they like it or not.

'We want to help!' they exclaimed.

'Yes because you were doing such a great job before I came along!' I growled. I didn't like being horrible to them but sometimes it was the only way to get through to them.

When I got back outside, I stood and watched Leon for a while. His blade techniques were transfixing. One of the reasons I like him is because of his sword wielding abilities. Then a monster attacked me. It was one of those zombie-soldier types. I tried to move my blade as fluidly as Leon. I'm not sure that I will ever manage to dance around my enemies like he does but that doesn't stop me trying. The monster knocked me down yet I was back on my feet within the second. My footing was weak and I seemed to glide as I sliced and diced. The monsters kept coming but we gave it back to them twice as hard. I always feel as if Aerith is watching over me when I battle. No matter how much damage I get, the wounds heal within a minute.

Aerith was kind. She was the healer of AVALANCHE. She could heal a battle scar, or even heal a scar from an emotional fight between two friends. She was pretty too. I can see her, in my head. Her flowing Brown hair, tied up in a pink ribbon with her Holy materia, the one she said did nothing but then it saved the world, her matching pink dress and her staff. Her staff was not a weapon of mass destruction; it was better used for spells. Her limits were always healing, or helping the rest of us in some way. She always smelt so nice, like flowery, even when I met her in the slums. All living things loved her, flowers, animals and people. I don't think she realised just how special she was, I don't think anyone did. No one but Zack and I did.

Finally, there were only a few fiends left. Barrett and Red finished them off in less than thirty seconds. I'd managed to keep someone, two someones in fact, safe, out of danger. That feeling was so good. I think I know why Zack and Aerith preferred to help people, before themselves; it's this feeling of happiness, I think.

'Cloud!' Yuffie yelled, 'Tifa's missing!'

'What?' My heart plummeted. I thought, just this once, I'd kept her out of danger. What was I thinking? I can't keep myself out of danger, let alone anyone else. 'Shit! Red, can you get a trace on her?'

'I may look like a dog-'

'Just shut it and find her! God damn-it!' I was being impatient and out of order but it was necessary, I had to find her.

Once again, AVALANCHE was together, with the addition of Leon, on a mission. Our group felt incomplete without Tifa there, it was bad enough without Aerith. I didn't like it but it was the way it had to be. I needed Red to track Tifa, I wanted Leon there and I couldn't tell the others to stay in sector 7 without raising suspicions. I could live with it, just to save her. I had to save her; it was a need, not a want.

We travelled for days. It would have been quicker if I wasn't being held back by everyone. After around a week, we were in Nibelheim, mine and Tifa's hometown.

It had been a while since the last time we were here. Nothing much had changed. My mother still wasn't there, Tifa's house still had strangers in it but her piano was still in her old room. The old Shinra mansion, however, had gone. Well, not gone exactly. The stairs to the basement were still there which probably meant that Sephiroth's library was still there. At least the town wasn't on fire again. I shuddered just remembering coming back from the Mako reactor to find that my hero, my role model Sephiroth, had set fire to the whole town.

'It seems to head to the Mako reactor, Cloud,' Red informed me.

We set off to the one place I had so hoped that she wasn't in. I didn't want to return to the Mako reactor. My first visit to Nibelheim's Mako reactor taught me of how the strongest men in Soldier were made, by infusing them with in the production of Mako. They looked like monsters suspended in Mako; it was disturbing. That is not why I didn't want to return to the Mako reactor though. I didn't want to return there because that is where Midgar held part of Jenova, Sephiroth's mother and technically mine.

When we were in the northern cave, my creator, Hojo the scientist, informed me that I was nothing more than a clone of Sephiroth. All of my 'memories' were what he created. I still refuse to believe this thought as Tifa insists that she remembers me so how can my memories have been created by Hojo? It made no sense or maybe I just didn't want it to make sense. I can be like that; I let my wants take over my life from time to time. I try to let my needs come before my wants and try to put everyone else's needs before mine but it never seems to work out that way.

There were many winding roads and caves to the reactor. The only bridge to the reactor broke whilst Sephiroth, Tifa and I, along with 3 members of Soldier, were trying to cross it. It took longer than usual as there were so many monsters crowding the area. If I had my motorbike then I could get through here so easily but I had AVALANCHE, which was good enough, just. I tried to get them to hurry; we didn't know what was happening to Tifa but my guess was that it was bad.

'Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!' Vincent and Barrett's guns went off again and again.

'Hiyah! Take that fiend! Eat my shit why don't you? Ha-ha!' Yuffie seemed to be enjoying fighting monsters.

Leon and I were back to back, circling the monsters so we could kill them faster. We both knew our goal and that if we didn't reach it fast then who knows what state Tifa would be in when we reached her, if we reached her. Our weapons slashed simultaneously; it was magical. His blade would glow a bright blue whenever he cast a spell whereas mine would glow a Mako green. Soon a big enough path was cleared for us to enter the reactor. There were lots of ladders to climb and a few chains to descend but it didn't take the gang more than 5 minutes to get to the heart of the reactor.

'Ahhhh!' I heard Tifa screaming.

'Tifa! We're here! We've come to save you!' I yelled.

She was tied up and the fiends were trying to force her into a Mako tank. Her hair had been burnt and she had many open wounds. It was a horrible sight. I slammed the door behind me, leaving Leon and AVALANCHE outside. This was my fight, not theirs. They were banging on the door, screaming my name but I would not listen; my sights were on Tifa and the monsters around her.

'Get off of her you little shits! She's mine you freaks!' I slashed and cut and diced. I wasn't really watching what I was doing as my vision was blurred by the presence of tears in my eyes. I hated what they had done to her. I just cut everything my blade touched. The amount of green on the floor told me that I must have broken a Mako tank and all of its contents had fallen on the floor. When I felt no more things attacking me, I wiped my sleeve across my eyes to remove the tears. All of the monsters had gone to the life stream, where they should have been in the first place. I looked over to the tank in which the monsters had tried to shove Tifa into and saw her lying in a heap at the bottom.

'Tifa! No!' I screamed my voice breaking.

I grabbed her in my arms and rocked her back and forth. I inspected her wounds and noticed that she had a great big gash across her chest. In my near blindness I had hurt her. I might have killed her. I might be responsible for someone else's death, again. Why me? It always seems to be me that this sort of thing happens to.

'I'm so sorry, Tifa,' I cried, tears falling onto her gash. 'Aerith, please, save her. I need her to live; I can't live knowing that I have killed someone else. Please.'

Picking Tifa up and opening the door out of the reactor. I ignored everyone else. I needed to get Tifa into a warm bed and fast. Once I was outside I whistled, loudly. Next thing we saw was my gold chocobo, Simon, dashing towards us.

'We'll meet you back in Nibelheim. She'll be safe there, I'm almost completely positive,' I mumbled, almost as if I were saying it to myself.

We got to the inn and I demanded the innkeeper for a room. I was being rude again; I must be rather good at that by now. I think he was scared of me as he was stuttering and shaking when he gave me the keys.

'No one is allowed in my room. No exceptions, you got that?' I stated.

'Y-y-yes sir!' The innkeeper muttered.

I placed Tifa on the double bed. She was shivering so I tucked her into the covers. Luckily, all her wounds seemed to have healed and her breathing was even again. I thanked Aerith; it seems as if she really is my guardian angel, which is quite funny seeing as I used to be Aerith's body guard before she passed. I watched Tifa sleep for a while. It was nice to see Tifa look peaceful and cute rather than her usual tough guy act. She really is beautiful. Her skin is pale but somewhat matches her slightly rosy red cheeks. Her lips are full but not overly full, they're a lovely colour too, a nice reddy-pink colour. I stood up and leant over her fragile, slender body just to stroke her soft skin. She rolled over so I held my breath as not to wake her. It was too late though.

'Cloud?' Where am I? What were you just doing?' She seemed full of questions.

'We're in Nibelheim; where the monsters dragged you and I wasn't doing anything, just making sure you weren't too cold.' I babbled.

'Oh. Is that really all you were doing?' She seemed disappointed.

Her lips had become fuller as she had pushed them into a pout. I licked my lips. She was irresistible but she still wasn't a need, even if I had admitted it earlier on. I sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. There was a question that I've been meaning to ask for a while but it was just phrasing it so that I didn't get the same old answer.

'What's the real reason that you always come into my bed? I don't want your stupid excuses this time either. I need the truth,' I told her.

'Oh. Well this is a bit of a surprise,' she was hesitating. She began to blush. 'Cloud, you're my childhood friend, I've always looked up to you, loved you. Don't get me wrong though, it was never a ploy to get you to sleep with me, I just feel safe in your company and feeling your warm skin against mine feels so good.'

'If that was the only reason, then why have you never told me the truth? I love you Tifa but you really do annoy me sometimes,' I sighed.

'You love me?' Excitement overtook her facial expression, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open.

'Well of course I do, we're friends aren't we? Now give me a hug, I was worried about you.' I smiled, reaching my arms out but also noticing her expression change into one of sadness.

As we embraced, something strange happened, my heartbeat become faster and harder and I suddenly got hot and felt my cheek's burn red. What was going on? I felt the urge to pull her face to mine. I tried to resist but couldn't. Next thing I knew our lips were together and we were intertwined on the bed. I was excited and happy but I didn't understand why. Soon, we were under the covers and we had both lost our tops. If I thought she was irresistible before, heck, I was an idiot that didn't know what he was on about.

'I love you Tifa, I really do. I want you, I need you, now!' I exclaimed whilst taking the rest of her clothes off.

'I love you too Cloud,' she struggled to speak. My guess is that she was overwhelmed by my change of heart.

I took off the rest of my clothes and we made love. I'm not going to go into details but it was more magical than Leon's fighting. I enjoyed it, to say the least. I watched her fall asleep in my arms after and noticed a single tear fall down her face and off her chin. I lay there, wondering if that was a tear of happiness or hurt. I know I enjoyed it but she didn't say a word throughout or after for that matter. Had I just really hurt her? I didn't know but I wasn't going to wake her just to ask. I fell asleep still thinking.

I woke up and Tifa wasn't there. What an odd sensation. Instead, she was watching me from the rocking chair by the window. Her eyes were red raw from crying and every now and then she would sniff and a fresh few tears would run down her cheeks.

'I hurt you, didn't I?' I asked.

'No, I'm just worried as to what that meant to you Cloud. That meant the world to me. In fact, you mean the world to me Cloud. I think I know the answer to my question though. Do you need me Cloud or was that just you giving into your desires again? I don't like the way your head works but that is how it works so I've just got to live with it. I don't want to be a one night stand or someone for you to fall back on when you have a breakdown and decide you need to sleep with someone. I'm not easy!' She screamed.

'I-'I struggled to speak, she was right. I didn't need her so I wouldn't keep her. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, it just happened. You know how stupid I can be.'

She burst into tears and ran out of the room. I didn't need her. I didn't want her. In fact, I only had an hour of desire last night. At least, I didn't need her to be more than a friend. I tried to get up and instead blacked out.

'Aren't you silly? You ask me to save her and then you do this to her. You have to get over me Cloud; it's been more than a year since Sephiroth, not you, killed me.' I heard Aerith say in her sing-song voice.

'How are you here Aerith? I killed you. I'm sorry. Am I dead too?' Everything seemed a blur and there was a bright light coming from behind Aerith.

'This is a dream, silly. You didn't kill me so stop telling yourself that you did. Now you need to go back and find someone else to love. Whether that is Tifa or not I cannot tell you but you must find a new love. You can't just keep living in the past Cloud.' Dream Aerith explained.

'I'll try, just for you,' I mumbled as Aerith faded into darkness.

I awoke to see everyone, even Tifa, watching me with worried eyes. I sat up and looked around. I was still in the Nibelheim Inn. I felt uneasy as I stroked the back of my neck and coughed a bit.

'God you gave us some fright dude!' Barrett barked at me. His face gave me the chills; it looked like a savage dog, about to attack.

'Sorry, I guess things got a little to my head. I always seem to do this. I'm sorry, I need all of you so much,' I explained, aiming all of this at Tifa but she just turned her head.

I got very confused. I thought Tifa loved me but she seems really distant. Maybe I've hurt her more than I realised. I really didn't mean to nor did I plan it. I love someone, but if not Tifa, then who? It could be Yuffie, I guess. She's definitely got a personality but is that enough to love? Then again, it could be Leon. No, get that out of my head now! I'm not gay! I love Aerith. I need to stop loving Aerith and she said that to move on I have to love someone else. Well, that's easier said than done.

'Come on Cloud! You can carry me back to Midgar!' Yuffie beamed.

'Why? You'r- Eugh!' I huffed as she jumped on my back. I went along with it though; there's no reasoning with Yuffie when she's decided something.

'Yes, Cloud. You absolutely love it when girls take a ride on you, don't you?' Tifa growled at me. Obviously she wasn't too happy with the whole piggy back thing me and Yuffie had going on. I mean, it's not like we're both naked for god's sake! She's being a right bitch about all of this to be honest.

When we were back in Midgar, Yuffie gave me a kiss on the cheek to show her gratitude. I couldn't help but blush. She really is quite sweet, a bit on the heavy side but other than that, she's pretty good. I still don't know if I love her or not though, if I do then love is different for every person that you love, which seems a bit odd. I might try and spend some more time with her and see what happens but I have my doubts. There were only two people who weren't with us; Cait Sith, who had gone to Shinra headquarters to charge up and Cid, who had detoured and gone back to see his family.

Leon and Tifa both either ignored me or were very sour with me all the way home. I understood why Tifa was being like it, kind of, but it made no sense to me as to how I had got on Leon's nerves. Strange man. Then again, maybe I'm just being my blindly idiotic self as usual. I asked everyone to stay over mine and Tifa's that night because I wasn't going to take any risks with so many fiends around. The main problem with that is that there are 3 beds and a sofa. 2 double beds and a single and there were 7 of us.

Barrett took the single bed, Red took the Sofa, which left the 2 double beds to share between Leon, me, Tifa, Yuffie and Vincent.

'I think I'll go for a walk. Remember, I don't sleep,' Vincent sighed. It seems as though he misses sleep and other normal human things. Vincent's a vampire you see.

'Humph! I'm not sleeping in the same bed as Cloud!' Tifa screeched.

'Well, I refuse to sleep in a bed with a bitchy girl like you!' Leon and Yuffie yelled simultaneously.

'Well, that's just great. It seems like we have Tifa, alone, in a double bed and Yuffie, Leon and me in the other. Why don't you go and wake up Barrett and then Leon and Barrett can share the double bed? It would make it much easier if there weren't too many people in one bed Tifa,' I negotiated.

'Ha! That's just a ploy so you can sleep with Yuffie alone! Is she another of your one night stands like I was? Well?' She screamed.

'Calm down woman! I don't want to sleep with her but as you're being so damn right fussy about it all it means that I have no one else to sleep with because I know that Barrett would crush her!' I snarled at her.

'You slept with Tifa?' Yuffie whispered, a tear falling down her cheek.

'Huh? Well, technically but oh, I don't have an explanation!' I muttered.

I had well and truly dug myself a hole. I had no idea what to do. I knew for a fact that if some distraction didn't turn up right there and then, I'd get killed by all three of them; Yuffie, Tifa and Leon. I pretty much was begging for a 'saved by the bell' moment but I knew that that only happened in television programmes. I guess I was just going to have to take what I dish out. I've had a pretty full life really what with all of the monster fighting, killing Sephiroph, having loved and lost, I think I could die now and be fine with it.

'Do you know what? I'm done with you. Seriously, just get out of my life you idiotic mercenary! You slept with me and then acted like it was nothing! You can't seem to get over Aerith no matter how many people like you! You act as if you're whole life is over just because Aerith's dead! Sure, we were all upset about it but you don't see me walking around like a zombie! Get over yourself!' Tifa screeched and ran off crying; Leon and Yuffie followed.

Well, I guess she was right on a few points but I'm trying. I really am. I don't know what to do. Maybe all their lives would be better if I just left; it seems like it's what they want. I've decided. I'm going to leave Midgar and travel to the Golden Saucer; the last place anyone would expect me to go. It's not like I don't like it there, just the people who know the real me don't think I would go there.

The Golden Saucer. It's on the main island of this world and tourists love it. There are loads of arcades and fun games to play, perfect for the kids. My favourite part of the Golden Saucer has to be the chocobo races. I don't particularly like gambling but when it comes to racing on Chocobo-back, well, there's nothing quite as thrilling. I think that's what I'll do, at least for a while anyways.

A chocobo is the most beautiful creature in this world. They look like a cross between an ostrich and a chicken and come in a range of colours: yellow, green, blue, black and gold. Black has to be my favourite. When it comes to racing them there are different classes which are C, B, A, S, with S being the highest class. Of course, whether you will be any good in a higher class race depends on the condition of your chocobo (poor, good excellent etc), what colour it is (gold is best all round) and the chocobo's stamina.

Before I can race, I have to get to the Golden Saucer. This means that I have to sneak out of Tifa's bar, seventh heaven, because even though she said all those things, it doesn't mean she'll actually _let_ me leave. Secondly, I have to get to the Chocobo ranch nearby Midgar to pick up Rufus, my black chocobo, which then means that I can go over sea and mountains. Then I just ride Rufus to Coral and take the lift from Coral to the Golden Saucer. Before any of that, however, I have to sleep.

Sleeping was fun. Especially as I had to sleep with Barrett as Leon, Tifa and Yuffie refused to sleep in the same room as me let alone the same bed. When you have to sleep next to, or in the same bed, as Barrett there are a few things you should look out for:

If he rolls over he WILL crush you (unless you happen to be Red as Red just bites him before Barrett's on top of him for too long)

He WILL steal all of the covers so if it's cold out, wear lots of layers.

He is more than a little bit likely to suddenly grab you and mumble 'Marlene' (Marlene's his daughter, we decided that it still wasn't safe enough for her to come back to sector seven so she's still with Aerith's mum in sector five. Doesn't stop Barrett missing her though)

In the morning I found myself on the floor, freezing my ass off! Bloody Barrett. Luckily, this got me up early so I could sneak out before anyone else woke up. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

'We knew you'd do something like this. We hate you, we want you gone but we wanted to see your massive ass leave,' Tifa caught me as I was just about to leave.

'Bye dickhead!' Yuffie screeched at me.

'...' Leon couldn't even say a word. For some reason, this got to me the most. Once again I have to remind myself that I'm NOT gay! I swear, if there is a god, he is well and truly trying to fuck with my head.

'Fine. I wasn't expecting any of you to forgive me. I'm a twat, I get that, but it's just part of who I am. I know I've got to get over Aerith and yes I am trying. It's not easy. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt any of you. Tifa, I don't know what came over me, I barely know what I was thinking or feeling right then. I came so close to losing you, I couldn't handle it. Yuffie, Leon there's nothing I can say to make up this crap I've done which is why I have to leave,' I sighed then turned around waving as I walked off.

I decided I would quickly go to the church in sector 5 slums; it always reminded me of her and was a good place to think. I also have to check on the flowers, I know she'd be happy if they were kept in check. I started to push open the door when I heard a weird sound; someone was crying.

'Oh, Aerith, I think, other than him, I miss you the most. He's become so distant. He even had sex with me saying he needed me and afterwards said that he didn't. He just can't seem to get over you,' it was Tifa, praying, well talking really, to Aerith, 'I know I'm not the only one who needs him, who loves him. There are so many fiends everywhere still, like there's an imbalance between good and evil. I can't help but think that he could be turning into the one he hates the most, the one who killed you. He is so pained, he became worse after he killed your killer, like he thirsts for it. He almost killed me and I come here now feeling as if I need to thank you for that. My friend; my healer; my Aerith. He'll never understand our relationship, the countless times that we made love-'

'YOU WHAT?!' I couldn't help myself at that point, it bewildered me, pleasured me and pissed me off, all at the same time.

'Oh, Cloud. I thought you'd be gone far away by now. I thought I was alone!' Tifa stumbled before finally regaining her normal confidence.

'Yeah, well, you weren't! I didn't even get to make love to her! And yet I loved her more than anyone else could, apart from maybe that one other... but not you! You're gay and yet I'm the one that's in the wrong for having sex with you? How does that make sense? I'm not evil! I'll never be like him, and if I am, well, maybe you just gave me the last push! Fuck you Tifa, if I never see you again, it'll be far too soon!' I yelled at her and then turned away and ran off.

I got to the chocobo stables in next to no time, which was unusual. I don't even get why I'm so angry. So what if she's a lesbian? So what if Aerith was too? The bad thing is, if I had ever felt like I could do anything evil, it would be now. I'm just so angry. The girl I loved and the girl I had always had feelings for but could never determine what exactly they were? I barely even noticed as I snapped my beloved black chocobo, Rufus' neck. I cried so much and just lay there on the floor. I blacked out, like I do often.

When I awoke, I had the strange sensation that I first needed to go to the city of the ancients to visit Aerith's grave and that afterwards, I should go to the crater and visit Sephiroth's burial site. I got to Aerith's grave and felt hate radiating from me. I wanted to dive in, find her carcass and tear it into little pieces. I hated her. I never loved her, how could I? I'm just a clone, a clone of the ancient that wanted to be the last ancient and to do so Aerith had to be killed. I finally understood his want for her to be dead. I saw her materia, her precious 'good for nothing' holy materia. I took it. Part of me was screaming 'put it back! Put it in the water, back with her, where it should be!' but another part wanted to examine the materia, find out exactly how to use it and to use its powers for evil.


End file.
